I really get a lot out of internet challenges like Inktober and NaNoWriMo. They give me specific structure, a timeline, and a community of people to interact with and to be inspired by! I love the feeling of satisfaction I get when I post something new each day, and I love how energetic and creative I feel.
That energy and burst of creativity is often just that, though – a burst. It’s often over quicker than I would like. At one point or another, I start to feel tired. Strained. Stressed. And then I start to feel guilty. Aren’t I supposed to be having fun? Where did that feeling go?
The reality of my situation is that I work a full-time job, and I travel quite a ways to get to said job, so I have less time than I would like to dedicate to month-long daily internet challenges. I’m only three days into Vlogmas over on my new YouTube channel, and I’ve quickly realized I don’t have enough time and energy to research, shoot, edit, render, and upload a video every single day.
This is the fastest that I’ve ever had to modify my approach to a monthly challenge. Usually I get about halfway through until I realize that I’m putting too much on myself and need to change it up. I think a big part of this decision is that video production takes a long time! A lot longer than I had anticipated. I’d really only be able to manage it if I was working from home or working part-time. Another big part of it is that I have a tendency to make things overly-complicated. I know I could just upload daily two-minute videos of me talking about what I did that day, but I want them to be holiday-adjacent, and I want to share my thoughts on things I really cared about. Thus, if I want to have that extra level of care, I need to take more time than a single day (well – more like four to five hours that I have left over after work) to create videos. And y’know what? I’m surprisingly okay with that!
I’m becoming more and more okay with taking my time to do something well than to churn out content and sacrifice taking care of myself. I didn’t always – I used to get super down on myself for “wasting time” on taking care of myself. However, as I get older I’m realizing that healthy meals and adequate sleep are very important to my well-being. I can’t write well if I haven’t got enough sleep. I can’t draw well if my hands are shaky from not eating.
But beyond that is a more important concept: I am worth taking care of because I am enough. My work, my output, doesn’t define my value as a person or as an artist. I don’t always remember these things, and some days it’s harder than others to love myself, but I’m working on it.
I’ll still take up internet challenges that seem really fun to me, but I’m going to be more okay with prioritizing my health and well-being over striving for perfect completion.
Thanks for reading, folks. Hope you have a great day!